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Joke of the Day

"Why do tulips glow? Because they come from bulbs. (This is the only *dad* joke I know.)"

"I was helping a Spanish guy load things in his car and he kept calling me names every time I did something nice. Everytime I helped him he called me a grassy-ass."

"There are three types of people in this world: The ones who can count, and the ones who can't."

"I think it's fun how Hollywood gets to make as many Superman movies as they want until they get it right."

"What kind of pizzas did Al Qaeda deliver to the World Trade Center? Two large plains."

"Nobody loves your text conversation screenshot as much as you do."

"What did the mathematician and the dentist talk about? Calculus"

"I hate going to 3rd period Chemistry It's such a Bohr."

"What does the Mexican gang member say to the 15 page document? Hey, *essay*!"

"Honey, I made the news! Apparently that old lady I fought at the library wasn't a ghost"