115861

Joke of the Day

"Why do tulips glow? Because they come from bulbs. (This is the only *dad* joke I know.)"

"What do you get when you cross a dyslexic, an insomniac, and an agnostic? Someone who lays awake at night wondering if there is a dog."

"Did you hear the one about Hellen Keller? Well neither did she."

"The Student Special Okay, so my friend and I went into a Chinese restaurant for lunch. They have student specials labled as K1, K2, K3, and K4. He walks up and asks for a K9."

"Pack of polos for sale still in the wrapper Mint condition Pack of polos for sale, still in the wrapper. Mint condition"

"Bricks and mortar are so passe. I going to live in my homepage."

"I dont care what god damned color forest it came from just give me the god damn ham"

"A friend of mine is having her breasts enlarged. She's paying for it with her endowment fund."

"ME: Leave me alone! You're not my real dad! CRAWDAD: [patiently] I am doing my best to raise you on my own. Now eat your plankton."

"Why did the monster get a ticket at Thanksgiving dinner? He was exceeding the feed limit!"