139319
Joke of the Day
"Why did the monster get a ticket at Thanksgiving dinner? He was exceeding the feed limit!"
Next Joke
"So are we all just going to pretend that we didn't spend 2001 yelling, ""Whassup?"" at each other?"
"Whenever I have a panic attack I put a paper bag over my mouth & once I'm done drinking the alcohol inside I feel a lot better."
"Why is a raven like a writing desk? Because they both drove Edgar Allen Poe straight into the grave."
"Girls hope you celebrated Valentines Day responsibly, or you'll be celebrating Thanksgiving in a maternity ward"
"What does DMX say when he has trouble putting on a hoodie? WHERE DA HOOD WHERE DA HOOD WHERE DA HOOD AT?"
"Q: Why was Heisenberg such a bad lover? A: When he got the momentum, he couldn't find the position, and when he found the position, he couldn't muster up the momentum. **X-post : /r/ScienceHumour**"
"There are no black swans, only African-American ones."
"When you have sex you burn 1000 calories. No wonder you're so fat."
"Are you an ideal amount of red phosphorus and am I a proportioned tiny wooden stick? Because we're a match!"