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Joke of the Day

"At this point the only thing Lady Gaga could do that would shock me is to come out on stage wearing a sensible pantsuit from Talbots."

"Mrs.Potato seemed genuinely upset that her husband was missing, but the smell of French fries in her kitchen made the detectives suspicious."

"I wish it was my job to sit around laughing at statuses all day. Actually, he is unaware, but that's what my boss is paying me to do anyway."

"I keep having these fantasies about the beautiful Lottery Lady on Saturday Evening TV ... .... No, not about winning the jackpot, I'm imagining her holding my balls in her hands."

"An atheist, a crossfitter, and a vegan are all sitting at a bar... They try to have a nice evening, but are forced to leave since everyone is aggressively telling them that they are wrong."

"Does an Eskimo ever think about drizzling their house with delicious flavored syrups and eating it?"

"Dear neighbor who mows his yard early in the morning tomorrow, I found my bagpipes for tonight."

"Free range chicken is better. The false illusion of freedom before slaughter makes them extra tender."

"Best goldfish joke ever told Two goldfish were in their tank. One turned to the other and said, ""You man the guns; I'll drive."""

"I went to a pot bar in Colorado this post weekend It was really a seedy joint."