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Joke of the Day

"I wish it was my job to sit around laughing at statuses all day. Actually, he is unaware, but that's what my boss is paying me to do anyway."

"Women aren't that complicated. They just want an honest and genuine guy who will give them insincere compliments they might not deserve."

"I just hope this Justin Bieber thing doesn't make all yellow Lamborghini owners look bad."

"Why do hummingbirds hum? They don't know the words."

"Give 100% in everything you do Except giving blood"

"Watched Michael phelps, paragon of athleticism, win a 4th gold medal in a row while I ate a comically large mole-drenched Mexican sandwich"

"I bet the worst part about being a birthday cake is when you're set on fire, and then eaten by the hero that saved you."

"""I made six figures last year."" - Extremely lazy G.I. Joe employee."

"Why doesn't Santa Claus have any children? Because he only comes once a year and it is always down the chimney."

"I rang up British Telecom, I said, ''I want to report a nuisance caller'', he said ''Not you again''."