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Joke of the Day

"Marriage is a three ring circus... ...first there is the engagement ring, then the wedding ring and then comes the suffering."

"What's big, red, and eats rocks? A big red rock eater."

"Teacher: What is can't short for ? Pupil: Cannot miss Teacher: and what is don't short for Pupil: Doughnut !"

"Sometimes when life closes one door it opens another, because apparently life is trying to air condition the whole damned neighborhood."

"What's the most wicked thing a group of young accountants can do? Go into town and gang-audit someone."

"Q: Do you know why the new football stadium they built in Warsaw could not be used? A: No matter where you sat you were behind a Pole."

"This girl came up to me today and said she recognised me from vegetarian club. I was confused, I'd never met herbivore."

"So it's world Philosophy day today and I was trying to think of something deep to say... The best I could come up with was lagoon."

"How do 5 gay men walk? One Direction!"

"Girl, are you a useless, obscure and unimportant punctuation mark? Because I want to interro-bang you"