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Joke of the Day

"""Millennials are so entitled!"" Aye well I don't see 20-somethings screaming for the manager because their coupon expired a month ago, Janet"

"The craziest shit happened today. Then I just wiped it away and got on with my day."

"What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? aye maighty"

"At Subway I ordered a 12 inch sandwich, but instead they gave me a 6 inch sandwich Oops, wrong sub."

"Me: I wonder what the wicked witch's name is. 7: Ding Dong. Me: What? 7: The song says, Ding Dong the Witch is dead. Me: Oh. My. God. "

"A scientist and an engineer walk into a bar... The scientist says ""I'll have some H2O."" The engineer says ""I'll have H2O, too."" The engineer dies."

"'I like big butts and I cannot lie.' - homeless guy rummaging through an ashtray."

"LPT: Don't trust everything you read on Facebook Unless it's the pope endorsing Trump. That definitely happened."

"My family tree is a Cactus........ Full of pricks ! :/"

"Two Polish guys are walking through the woods... One says ""Look, a dead bird!"". The other looks up in the trees and says ""Where?!"""