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Joke of the Day

"Me: I wonder what the wicked witch's name is. 7: Ding Dong. Me: What? 7: The song says, Ding Dong the Witch is dead. Me: Oh. My. God. "

"Me: This painting really speaks to me. Mona Lisa: You do way too many drugs."

"Q: What will you never say about a banjo player? A: That's the banjo player's porsche."

"I just read that Stevie Wonder is filing for divorce. I guess in the end, they just didn't share the same views!"

"Why don't Raggedy Ann & Andy have any children? Cotton balls"

"I can dig graves my entire life and nobody calls me a landscaper, but i suck one dick! And they call me gay for life!"

"Russia's most prolific musician? JOHN LENIN"

"What did the heatsink say to the CPU? ""I'm a huge fan!"""

"Why can the Cornish always lend a hand? They probably have a spare."

"Two jewelers saw a man get shot to death. The first jeweler looks at the second and says, ""I'm absolutely opalled! The second just looks down and says, ""I dunno man, I'm just too jaded to care."""