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Joke of the Day

"I like my Women, like I Like my Water. Free"

"Parenting styles often relax as you have more kids. For example my 1st born ate only all-natural, organic food. My 2nd eats broken glass."

"I want to reenact a scene from 50 Shades of Gray.... Y'know the one where she gets a job right out of college."

"My wife asked me... ...if I could eat her pussy when she got home from work. Later in the evening she asked me why I never ate her pussy. To which I replied ""What do you think was in the stew?"""

"A warning shot into the head."

"My friend's body temperature is currently -273.15 C Don't worry though, he's 0K."

"Today, I walked into a restaurant. ""Hi, is my table ready?"" ""No, not yet sir. Do you mind waiting?"" ""No, that's okay."" ""Great, take these salads to table six then."""

"Just bought a set of alphabet magnets for my fridge, so this may very well be my last tweet."

"If the main character of ""The Walking Dead "" spared every human, would he be called... ... Pacifist Rick ?"

"A son comes to his grandpa.. ... And asks him ""Grandpa, how comes all girls still like you?"" ""Eh, eh, my lil' son..."", said the old man licking his eyebrow"