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Joke of the Day

"Today, I walked into a restaurant. ""Hi, is my table ready?"" ""No, not yet sir. Do you mind waiting?"" ""No, that's okay."" ""Great, take these salads to table six then."""

"Knock knock. Who's there? * Fuck. * Fuck who? * Fuck you."

"I heard the best time travel joke tomorrow."

"My team got silver medal in the sex Olympics. We would have got gold but I came first in the orgy."

"My friend said to me 'The Tory party is just cuts after cuts after cuts!'... ... I told him 'You're one letter off.'"

"[Seance] *knock, knock* ME: Wh-who's there? [ouija board spells out A-T-C-H] ME: atch who? [spells out B-L-E-S-S-Y-O-U] ME: Dammit, Grandpa!"

"Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. Yes is the answer."

"The periodic table has expanded and the additions were rather heavy. There's no more room for any more elephants."

"What is Donald Trump's favorite Counter Strike map? de_port"

"What two games does Carl Sagan play at the bar? Billiards and Billiards"