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Joke of the Day
"Cough cough sniffle"
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"During puberty, how did Cookie Monster's friends describe him? ""Young, dumb and full of crumb"""
"popsicle stick joke. Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?"
"A man, his wife and a son find a genie and get 3 wishes. Son: a hamster! Dad: fuck hamster! Mom: don't fuck the hamster!"
"What is the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is heavy and the other is a little lighter."
"I saw an image of Jesus in my breakfast burrito. I asked myself, what would Jesus do? And so I ate him. Two hours later... Holy Shit!"
"Sit down and let me tell you a story. Once Upon A Time......last night......I had a few drinks and......borrowed your credit card."
"You know what they say. Once you go Mac.... you find out your dads dead. RIP Steve Jobs :("
"FRIENDS reunion (2016) RACHEL: [texting from bar] sry smthg came up CHANDLER: [texting from home] same... work JOEY: [in LA] wait THIS friday?"
"Dude, the water from the sink is sooo hot... I would tap that."