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Joke of the Day

"I'm making a band! I started a band called 999 Megabytes...we havent gotten a gig yet."

"If you ever meet me please remember that I literally have a headache all the time"

"What do sex in a canoe and American beer have in common? They're both fucking close to water."

"comedy jokes : ? , : ? ! : , - ! . : , . - 32/ - 6 8 . . . . . . . : , , "

"What's the easiest way to get a virus into ISIS computer systems? By sending them executables."

"College spelled backwards is ""egelloc""... ...which makes no sense just like everything i've learnt in college"

"to cause mass hysteria at a wedding, slowley turn the volum down when the ""shout"" song says ""a litle bit louder now, a litle bit louder now"""

"I hate these supposedly ""funny t-shirts"". Just the other day I saw one which on the front said ""I'm not gay..."" and on the back said ""but my boyfriend is"". So I asked my girlfriend to take it off."

"how is my dick like a diamond? its the hardest substance on earth, it can't be crushed, and every girl dreams of having it."

"Doctor: How long has this been bothering you? Women: It started after work 2 days ago at 7pm. Men: I think it started in the 90's."