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Joke of the Day

"Doctor: How long has this been bothering you? Women: It started after work 2 days ago at 7pm. Men: I think it started in the 90's."

"Marijuana should've been legalized at the same time as same sex-marriage because it says in the bible, a man who lies with another man shall be stoned"

"What's grey and wrinkly and jumps every twenty seconds ? An elephant with hiccups !"

"It's funny how trusting of bartenders we are. I wouldn't let my life-long best friend hold my credit card for four hours while I was getting bombed."

"What was the root of the problem dark ages? The potato famine."

"If you open your iPhone camera when it's reversed, and your own face scares and shames you, it's considered cardio."

"Why don't nice people ride the train? Because they're usually found on trucks."

"When God closes a door, He usually makes sure my fingers are in it."

"Did you hear about the first time Alexander The Great went to a brothel? He came, he saw, he came."

"I don't want to play a band instrument at school because I only get F minor"