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Joke of the Day

"Doctor: How long has this been bothering you? Women: It started after work 2 days ago at 7pm. Men: I think it started in the 90's."

"Q: How did the redneck find his sister in the woods? A: Pretty hot"

"I was going to make my friend some spaghetti made from milk protein... But sadly he pasta whey."

"""Lloyd, could you keep your eyes on the road, please?"" Oh. Yea. Good thinkin'. Can't be too careful. A lot of bad drivers out there."

"The best sex is like an old saloon. Liquor in the front and poker in the rear."

"*quits Twitter to spend time with family* *remembers what family is like* *quits family for Twitter*"

"What does acid reflux and dubstep have in common? They both get better when you drop the ""base""."

"This is so embarrassing, what's your name again? - me, the first 30 times I meet everyone"

"Why did Microsoft skip straight to 10? Because Windows 7, 8, 9. I'll see myself out."

"What's white, but has a black asshole? The Whitehouse."