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Joke of the Day

"How do you make a tissue dance? put a little boogie in it"

"I really hope it's a typo on your resume where it says you're ""goat oriented""."

"""This is why I hate fancy restaurants, I can never pronounce anything on the menu"" -me, drunk, holding the Waffle House menu upside down"

"Doctor, does being obese impede my chances off a normal sex life? No, but it does add weight to the problem."

"Two guys from Michigan wake up in Hell....... ...and they go about there day, and live there daily lives as citizens of Hell, Michigan."

"What do you call a black woman who has an abortion? A crime fighter"

"There are 3 types of people in this world People that can count and people that can't."

"What's worse than finding a worm on your apple? The Holocaust"

"If you make a new sex position, do you get to name it? If so, I'll call it The Laptop. Internet required, partner is not."

"I was late so I shoved a whole taco into my mouth. It was a sight to behold based on the facial expression of the lady in the adjacent car."