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Joke of the Day
"I was raped by a group of mimes They did unspeakable things to me."
Next Joke
"[Judas standing alone waiting to be picked for dodgeball] -Come on it was one time guys *Jesus drags the CPR dummy to his side of the gym*"
"Apparently people are using smart phones instead of credit cards now. I tried this but my cocaine was very lumpy."
"ME: My New Year's resolution is to eat less WIFE: Good! ME: (very, very quietly) ...vegetables."
"What do you call terrorists who have degrees in material science and electromagnetic theory? HysterISIS"
"What is the biggest similarity between the average Redditor and a lumberjack? They both sleep all night and whack all day!"
"I lost 50 pounds in two days Im never playing poker again"
"Geneticists and Teenage Boys are the same... They both want to unzip your genes."
"What do you do when your girlfriend starts smoking? You slow down and add lubricant."
"My physicist gf told me she loves me to the moon and back .... I don't know if she was referring to the Distance or Displacement."