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Joke of the Day

"Doctor, does being obese impede my chances off a normal sex life? No, but it does add weight to the problem."

"I made a Tech Joke Q: What did one device say to the other? A: Are you syncing what I""m syncing?"

"So how long do I have to microwave this spider before I let it bite me?"

"Why did the Zombie baseball pitcher retire? He threw his arm out."

"My only goal is to run into Steven Spielberg, beg him to let me pitch a movie, and then pretend like I don't realize I'm describing Jaws"

"If you're ever being mugged just shout THERE'S A BEE ON YOU the thief'll freak out and run away haha what a baby problem solved"

"I like my women how I like my computer Broken, dead, and in the basement."

"Pepsi and Coke can't even be in the same restaurant together and society wants us all to get along. Pffftt."

"Why ""hooters""? Who decided breasts looked like owls? They were wrong."

"Had a lot of chemistry with my high-school science teacher."