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Joke of the Day

"My wife turns over and accidentally kicks me in the nuts. I gasp. She gasps. Then she raises her arms and yells, ""I WIN! I WIN!"""

"Did you hear the dress at the center of the color debate is actually a type of ""sex dress?"" It's just a fucking dress."

"Ghost joke joke booooobies"

"Why do people order espresso shots at Starbucks? Because it's black. Sorry."

"How did Copernicus become the first Polish astronomer? He was the first one in the country to look up."

"Dear Keebler elves, 100 calorie packs of cookies suck. I hope your tree burns down."

"Discovering a clever way to cut the character count of a tweet. Th@."

"I remember a friend asking me why I had a bottle of wine in my car, I said I got it for my wife... He said good trade..."

"What do Donald trump and the Internet have in common? They're two of the worlds most powerful tools."

"I waited for so long at the doctor's office that by the time they called me it was time for my follow-up appointment."