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Joke of the Day

"""Do you think I could sell this couch on Craigsface?"" --Grandma"

"Did you know President Obama can run around the White House in 11:00? It would be a record, but Bush did 9:11."

"You can never trust an atom... they make up everything."

"I used a vaccum cleaner inside of an elevator It sucked on so many levels..."

"Crack-head's favorite rap song... I wanna rock RIGHT NOW!!!!"

"I just found out my wife has an identical twin I saw her on Tinder."

"My favorite drawings at the Mohammad cartoon festival in Texas... were the two chalk outlines out front."

"I don't see why everyone likes circles so much They're so pointless."

"Did you know you can tell the gender of an ant by throwing it in water? If it sinks, it's girl ant. If it floats, it's buoyant."

"I would tell you a joke about UDP... But I'm not sure if you would get it."