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Joke of the Day

"""Do you think I could sell this couch on Craigsface?"" --Grandma"

Next Joke
 
"My son called me 'Marc' I said ""That's a little presumptuous. Call me Dad"" He replied ""Now who's being presumptuous?"""
"What time was it when Jared got fired? When the big hand touched the little hand"
"A cemetery foreman discovers that his employees cremated a body he explicitly told them to bury. ""You've made a grave mistake!"" He fumes."
"Today the world has lost a great leader who ruled with an iron fist. Mrs.Brady you will be missed... (some guy named Fidel Castro died too)"
"on star trek every time they beam down to a new planet they get their tricorders out to find somewhere to go on yelp"
"I thought I kept all my David Fincher DVDs safely, but... I lost The Game."
"Don't worry, they'll tell you. How do you know OP put the punchline in the title?"
"I'm going to talk to my broker today about cashing in some of my stocks. And by that I mean, ""taking all my change to the coinstar machine"""
"Are my undies showing? [""No.""] ""Would you like them to?"""