170559
Joke of the Day
"After 15 years, I finally met my dad. He's a pharmacist."
Next Joke
 
"""I love u"" ""Umm isn't it a bit too soon to say I love you?"" ""Oh ha I meant the letter U. What's your fav u word? Mine is Unreciprocated lol"""
"Have you ever tried to eat your own watch? Well it's very time consuming."
"Why do clowns hate assassins? Because they go for the juggler."
"Two muffins are baking in the oven. One looks at the other and says ""it sure is getting hot in here, whew!"" The other muffin looks back and says ""Holy Shit! A talking muffin!"""
"Whats yellow and dangerous? Shark infested custard"
"Doctor: ok, just need a urine sample & we're done. Me handing him my boxers: I'm in a rush. Just wring these out."
"If Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders are on a boat together, and it sinks, who survives? America"
"How do you scare a man? Sneak up behind him and start throwing rice."
"[Mesozoic era] God: if u can't spell ur name you're going extinct Jellyfish: seems fair Pterodactyl: [to Brachiosaurus] this is bullshit"