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Joke of the Day

"God and Lazarus God said to Lazarus, ""Come forth, and receive eternal life!"" However, Lazarus came fifth and received a toaster."

"The only real importance in life is getting ahead. Head. I meant to say head."

"Yo mamma is so stupid she thought the fast Fourier transform was a way to complete your bachelor's degree."

"What do you call a gay Asian guy? Rice-a-Roni"

"Hillbillies are getting restless. Neighbor kid is dancing around a burn barrel listening to Whitesnake & wearing a Batman mask"

"What is the difference between feminists and Nazis? One group has a purpose and lots of support and the other is full of nagging women."

"What do you call a nut that can't talk? Nutin special. Credit to my 8 year old daughter who made that one up."

"If I was a candle... ...and somebody dumped a bucket of water on me, I'd be quite put out."

"Why would Adrian Peterson be a great baseball player? Because he's a switch hitter"

"My girlfriend is a porn star I really hope she never finds out."