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Joke of the Day
"If I was a candle... ...and somebody dumped a bucket of water on me, I'd be quite put out."
Next Joke
"Why was the geophysicist arrested? He was doing crystal math."
"My wife wanted to spice up our sex life. So she asks me if I wanna have a threesome. I said, ""Sweetie. If I ever have sex with two women at the same time..... neither one is gonna be you."""
"What's the speed limit of sex? 68... any faster and you'll eat it."
"You love him. Your parents approve him. He buys you flowers and chocolate. He wrote you a poem that rhymes ""wood"" with ""food."""
"ME: isn't this great?? WIFE: not really ME: *looks down from the top bunk* what's wrong"
"Donald Trump & Mexican Are At Bar On The Boarder Mexican Grill"
"I see fewer cats on my front page. I've been told that Curiosity killed them."
"Why did Frankenstein squeeze his girlfriend to death? He had a crush on her."
"Why was the Muslim arrested for speeding during Ramadan? Because he was going *to fast*!"