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Joke of the Day

"How many Harvard students does it take to change a light bulb? One. He holds it up and the world revolves around him."

"20 years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope, and Steve Jobs. Now we have no cash, no hope, and no jobs."

"Aww I'm sorry you're mad the world doesn't revolve around you. Here...let me pour you a nice, tall glass of Get Over It."

"When my twitter crush rt's another girl, a little part of me dies. And so does she."

"[inventing humans] god: ""they should have complete control of their tongue"" angel: ""um ok"" god: ""let me finish.. except when using scissors"""

"You can blame those ""meddling kids"" all you want. But let's face it. Your entire plan was to dress up like a ghost."

"Why don't you play UNO with a Mexican? Because they steal all the green cards"

"I'm taking a course where we learn about crackpots. It's called Psychoceramics."

"What's a virgin's favorite Christmas song? ""Single Bells"""

"Did you know it's now politically incorrect to say 'black paint'? Now you have to say ""Jamaal can you please paint the fence""."