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Joke of the Day

"I'm taking a course where we learn about crackpots. It's called Psychoceramics."

"What do you call a bat in a hurry? A racing club"

"It's not working. I've napped every day this week at work and not a single raise or promotion. Sleeping my way to the top was a stupid idea."

"What's the difference between a lima bean and a chickpea? I've never had a lima bean on my face."

"Kid 1: Hurt my elbow School Nurse: Here's an ice pack K2: *fever* SN: Ice pack K3: *diarrhea* SN: Ice pack K4: *decapitated* SN: Ice pack"

"Girls are like blackjack... I'm trying to go for 21 but I always hit on 14."

"Why must you be religious to join the Navy? Because it's a place of war ship."

"Microwaved Food is a lot like Schroedinger's Cat It could be really hot or stone cold."

"Hello, police, I have a burglar trapped in my home gym. Please hurry. The longer he's in there the more powerful he'll become."

"I, too, am shocked Ted Cruz has had sex. I just assumed his kids were born when he ate after midnight and got wet like in the movie Gremlins"