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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend named her pussy trouble. And now I'm always trying to get into trouble."

"My friend's coming over, I've got to be careful... ...my house mates are crazy and he's allergic to nuts. *Yes indeed.*"

"So much has been going wrong in the USA You would think it had been built on thousands of ancient Indian burial grounds."

"What's brown and sticky? A stick."

"How did Darth Vader know what Luke had for Christmas? He felt his presents."

"They're having a Jamaican hair-do day tomorrow at work. I'm dreading it."

"I keep waiting for my Cadbury Creme Eggs to hatch into Cadbury Creme Chickens, but no luck so far. And sitting on them certainly didn't help"

"why don't foot fetishists ever win anything? because they like the taste of defeat. i'm not even sorry."

"What do you call cow without a girlfriend? Beef Stroken off"

"Being a fat guy at McDonald's is like being the muscle guy at the gym. People stay out of your way cause they know you mean business"