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Joke of the Day

"The Conjuring 3: Evil spirits torment another single mom & her kids. The kids torment them back. They're better at it. The spirits flee."

"The first guy to skip a rock was probably all sad and just trying to toss the rock in the pond and was like ""well, can't even do that right"""

"When a black guy gets shot, what are his communities favourite snacks? Dindu Muffins"

"The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense."

"I've recently started to play Dark Souls III It only took me 2 hours to beat the torturial."

"I do my best proofreading right after I hit send."

"What's a Mexican's favourite video game? Borderlands."

"doc: ""your dad's been in a coma for 9 days, we're running out of ideas"" me: ""let me try"" [goes to adjust thermostat] dad: [opens one eye]"

"If your name is Susan, I surmise you're lazy. If your name is Tom, I posit you're a peeper. If your name is Jason, I automatically assume... YOU'RE A CUNT!!! NO! SERIOUSLY, FUCK YOU, JASON!!!"

"What medicine do you take if your butt hurts? Assprin."