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Joke of the Day
"Q: What do agnostic, insomniac dyslexics do at night? A: Stay awake and wonder if there's a dog"
Next Joke
"I asked the grocery store man if they had eggnog and he's like ""We only carry it at Christmastime"" so I was all ""Whatever, Hitler."""
"Why dont Egyptian Chefs do well in the circus? They always fal-afel off the tight rope."
"My kids constantly yell at me whenever I try take their pictures, and I tell 'em: ""You're gonna need them in 20 years for your Throw Back Thursdays updates""..... whatever!!"
"HALLOWEEN JOKE: Why don't witches ever have babies? Because warlocks have hollow weenies!"
"How many immature people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Hehe... 'screw' Alternatively: 69, but everyone expects that one."
"Interviewer: Why did you leave your last job? [flashback to everyone chanting ""SHIT PANTS""] Me: It was just time for a change."
"It's time to clean the refrigerator when something closes the door from the inside..."
"Why does it take so long when Satan is in front of you in line at the post office? Because the devil takes many forms."
"What does Lenny (of Mice and Men) do during foreplay? Heavy petting."