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Joke of the Day

"Interviewer: Why did you leave your last job? [flashback to everyone chanting ""SHIT PANTS""] Me: It was just time for a change."

"How many Horsemen of the Apocalypse does it take to change a lightbulb? Three. War never changes."

"What's going on under there? Nobody has to know but you. - Poncho salesman"

"Why does LeBron James wear high socks? His Cavs can't handle the Heat"

"Whats the difference between a gun and a feminist? A gun only has one trigger"

"How do you stop a dog humping your leg? Suck it off"

"Why does Santa never visit Jewish families on Christmas? Jew's houses dont have chimneys, they already fell for going into a house with them once! [NSFW]"

"90% of Men in Chicago have had shower sex The other 10% have never been to prison."

"I bought a white bathrobe and splattered it with red paint just to freak out my neighbors when I go get the mail."

"When the wife and kids go on vacation, I always keep the neighbors on edge by placing rectangular mounds of dirt throughout the yard."