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Joke of the Day

"A woman walks up to me and says ""give me 12 inches and make it hurt"".... So i banged her 4 times and hit her w/ a brick"

"What's black and blue and hates sex? ... a rape victim"

"My girlfriend never swears in public... But when we're talking dirty around the house she curses like a sailor, and it really turns me on. I guess it's true, women should be obscene but not heard."

"Ladies: To see how a guy is in bed, watch him put on a shoe. Does he just cram his foot in? Or does he lick the shoe fully then gently enter"

"How can environmental scientists stay on top of the global warming issue? They climate."

"What happens to your car insurance if you don't notify them that you've wrecked a car? I don't know, but it's not wreck-amended."

"What did the maxi pad say to the fart? ""You are the wind beneath my wings."""

"The entire plot of spiderman A teenage boy finds out he can shoot white stuff out his body"

"[Calls number written on my windshield with lipstick] Hi, you left your number on my car. Who's going to clean this?"

"I want to grab some Mexican tonight and then maybe have some dinner with him"