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Joke of the Day
"My friend's bakery burned down last night. Now his business is toast."
Next Joke
"If your wife wants to learn to drive, don't stand in her way."
"Oh yeah!! Well, if smoking weed destroys your short-term memory, then what does smoking weed do?"
"I ate a gluten-free lactose-free low carb pizza for dinner tonight. (It was a raw tomato)"
"On our third date, my girlfriend told me that she was bisexual. I broke it off with her because I definitely need sex more than every two weeks."
"[First date] Him:""Waiter!"" Waiter:""Sir?"" Him:""Could you check the toilets? My date has been gone 2 hours. Also, her coat has been stolen"""
"I had a balloon with the reddit logo on it and I put it on the nozzle of a can of helium. It blew up pretty fast."
"What do you call homosexual Israelites? Fruit Jews"
"They say 99% of the population is stupid... I'm glad to be a member of the other 2%!"
"A fish asked a lobster why he gets boiled alive The lobster replied ""your face looks boiled"" The fish says ""I guess you can't be roasted"""