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Joke of the Day

"The only day of the year that gives an order March 4th Sorry this was one of my dear departed mother's favorite annual jokes. Just had to share the love!"

"Why did the lead acid battery have to tell the truth? Because if it didn't it would be Li-ion."

"1. Go to seminary. 2. Get degree. 3. ??? 4. Prophet."

"What saying is discouraged in both the USA and North Korea? The South Will Rise Again"

"This one's a classic from my childhood: Say the letter ""X"" ten times fast. \\_()_/ "

"What happened when the host of Dirty Jobs said hello to a friend that was fairly far away? Microwave."

"Car next to me in liquor store parking lot has a family sticker. She has SEVEN kids. I better get in there quick! She's gonna buy it all."

"If I'd had a nickel for every time I've been financially irresponsible... I'd probably still be in debt right now."

"One time I was really high and attempted to flush my foot down the toilet. There was no Twitter then, so I'm telling you now."

"How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? that's not funny! >:("