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Joke of the Day
"Knock Knock.. Who's there? Razor. Razor who? Razor hands it's the police. I need friends."
Next Joke
"The next time somebody complains about millennials, maybe remind them which generation linoleumed over all those beautiful hardwood floors."
"Please do not return empty candy wrappers to the dish. It leads to false expectations and uncontrollable rage."
"I love Comcast. Jokes over."
"My husband went camping w/ his buddies. He packed a hatchet, 2 liters of Jack & a 3yo's Hello Kitty sleeping bag. He's gonna die out there."
"If towels could tell jokes... They would have a dry sense of humor."
"Who is this Rorschach guy? ... and why does he paint so many pictures of my parents fighting?"
"If I'm guilty of anything it's that I care too much, that and murder"
"English is difficult to learn. It can be taught through tough thorough thought, though."
"I always get the last word in arguments with my girlfriend. I just say ""Yes ma'am"""