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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the circus fire?.. People said it was intense.."

"I don't have a drinking problem, if anything I'm too damn good at it."

"Reports of terrible flooding in Pakistan Authorities fear it was the work of a suicide plumber"

"Co-worker: My husband & I are praying for a baby. Me: You know that's not how you get 1, right? You gotta have sex. What does HR want now?"

"They say ""confidence"" is the most attractive quality in a partner. But I'd have to say ""not banging my friends"" would be a very close 2nd"

"What is a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross country."

"So where do you see yourself in 5 years? How am I supposed to know, I don't have 2020 vision!"

"Someone snuck aboard the Death Star and stabbed Darth Vader with a lightsaber. It was a space in Vader."

"We decided to go out for bbq tonight. As it turns out, I'm too immature to discuss how to smoke your meat with strangers."

"*checks watch* *gets up off toilet* I don't have time for this shit"