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Joke of the Day

"Reports of terrible flooding in Pakistan Authorities fear it was the work of a suicide plumber"

"I'm sorry, Black Lives Matter is actually a peaceful and forward thinking movement that our society needs... Now if you could all stop sending me death threats on twitter that would be great."

"The best part of being lactose intolerant is the cure for constipation is cheese."

"Dear Microsoft, If you had called it ""Bang"" instead of ""Bing,"" you'd have destroyed Google. Example: I banged Sofia Vergara last night."

"I think I just passed a Pussy Willow. I couldn't see clearly because there was a big bush in front of it."

"""The top of my toliet seat is uncomfortable to sit on. I want it to feel like my living room floor"" - inventor of carpet toliet seat covers"

"This is the pig I've been fucking said the husband. The wife looks at the animal in the husband's arms and says that's a duck I was talking to the duck the husband said."

"Why can't Boy Scouts be MLG? Because they're campers."

"Funny Fact Always happens to me : Study for one hour no one sees . But pick up mobile just for a second and MOM/DAD enters the room"

"I hardly ever drink Only 2 times a year to be exact On my birthday, And when it's not my birthday"