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Joke of the Day

"The world's fastest boxer invited anyone to try to avoid his fists... There was no punchline."

"Saw a sign that said ""Join a 5k run! Fight childhood obesity!"" Shouldn't the kids just run it themselves?"

"I can't believe I'm in class on Presidents' Day. This is an obamanation."

"What does Wayne Gretzky's wife call him? ""Wayne"""

"Listen, when I say a movie was ""cute"" I do not mean it was GOOD. A girl saying a movie was cute is just code for ""My ovaries liked it."""

"Q: What's the best pickup line to use in a gay bar? A: May I push in your stool?"

"Heart of a lion My grandad has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from Edinburgh zoo."

"I was sad to lose an arm wrestling match to a woman, but I felt better after I found out she was a man. Then sad again because we had sex."

"A coworker and myself had a competition to see who was more sensitive I was pretty sad I came in second place."

"What is the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair"