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Joke of the Day
"What is the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair"
Next Joke
"My wife doesn't mind me flirting with other women. She finds the rejection quite entertaining."
"Wall, you may have ears but you're pretty useless without a mouth and eyes, aren't you? Wall?"
"Lincoln and Twilight opening the same weekend? Once again, Abe gets killed in a theater, and he's already fought vampires once this year."
"The wife of a programmer tells him.. ""Honey, would you please go to the store and get us a watermelon for the barbeceu. If they have eggs get a dozen."" He came back with twelve watermelons."
"imagine a reverse pizza. the missing hole on the table where the pizza is meant to be. everything else is pizza. the solar system. the air."
"Chuck Norris farted once. He did this in the Sahara Rain Forest."
"Q: What kind of dog can jump higher than a building? A: Any dog. A building can't jump."
"Starve a cold. Feed a fever. Humiliate a rash. Flatter a migraine. Friendzone diarrhea. Date cramps. Bring anxiety home to meet the family."
"What's the worst thing your wife can text you after she sends you nudes? ""Oops, wrong person."""