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Joke of the Day

"I got caught taking a pee in the local swimming pool today... The lifeguard shouted at me so loudly, I almost fell in."

"My sis just asked if sugar goes bad. Now I can't stop picturing it bullying the other spices and selling pot."

"When your girlfriend is PMS'ing, cheer her up by showing her that ""totally weird"" text you got from your ex last night."

"A man reported that his chickens had been stolen off his property Police suspect fowl play."

"I spend more time pretend talking into bananas than I do real talking into my cellphone."

"Becoming hard to tell difference between credible news organizations like 4chan and troll sites like New York Post."

"If everyone walked around with their orgasm face, no one would ever get laid."

"Did you hear about the strawberry jam and grape jelly hooking up? They got marmalaid."

"What do you say to a woman with only one tooth? Nice tooth."

"This Mother's Day, my dad got a new car for my mom. He said it was the best trade he's ever made"