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Joke of the Day

"When your girlfriend is PMS'ing, cheer her up by showing her that ""totally weird"" text you got from your ex last night."

"What do you call a nocturnal bird that likes both men and women? A bisexuowl. I'm sorry."

"What is green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table. [Thanks, Wagon Train camper!]"

"Did you hear about the perforated comedian? He was tear-able!"

"Listening to NPR during fundraising campaigns has prepared me to ignore my kids when they ask for money."

"When I shake hands with a fat guy I don't like, I do it extra hard to get a good moob bounce going"

"(Restaurant joke) What's the difference between a Jew and a canoe? Canoes tip."

"I don't even want to know how many nude pics Donald Trump's cell phone must have of him."

"What did one tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing they were both stuck up cunts."

"How did you get out of Iraq? Iran"