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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the strawberry jam and grape jelly hooking up? They got marmalaid."

"It may be illegal to steal kitchen utensils, but what can I say? I'm a whisk taker"

"Knock! Knock! Knock! Knock! Whos there? Control Freak. Con Okay, now you say, Control Freak who?"

"Healthy human blood must be a low-carb meal... Because it's the most-keto diet."

"to my beautiful son i leave a wealth of valuable golden coins, sprinkled throughout super mario 3d world, redeemable for extra in-game lives"

"I was about to be given a yellow card for punching another player in the face, but then the ref noticed I was an amputee. No arm, no foul."

"We are family, even though you're fatter than me Yo momma is so fat that when she went to the beach a whale swam up and sang, ""We are family, even though you're fatter than me."" -"

"Are your breast imported? Because they look like they're over C's"

"You heard the rumor going around about butter? Nevermind, I shouldn't spread it. Thank you TheAustr0naut"

"In a double blind study researchers found women who drink regularly are more likely to become nuns Proving once and for all that alcohol is habit forming."