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Joke of the Day

"About to check Facebook? Let me save you some time. One of your friends has updated their cover photo to a picture of the beach."

"Where do you get frogs eggs ? At the spawn shop !"

"What's the Difference Between An Onion and a Baby I cry when I cut onions."

"I may be middle-class, but I'm hard. *Al dente*, you might say. **Jimmy Carr**"

"The Very Hungry Caterpillar taught me that I can binge eat carbs and then take a two week nap and I'll become beautiful."

"I recently started playing the triangle for a reggae band... ...I just stand at the back and ting..."

"Cop: There was no else going anywhere nearly as fast as you! Me: I know. I was winning."

"What's the worst punchline on /r/jokes? I haven't got the faintest idea."

"John buys binoculars and shows it to Bob. ""Bob, this is the coolest thing ever. Last night I saw you doing you wife"" You can return it, it's broken. Last night I was out of town"

"I just won the Polish Lottery..... $1.00 a year for a million years."