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Joke of the Day
"Cop: There was no else going anywhere nearly as fast as you! Me: I know. I was winning."
Next Joke
"Really hope autocorrect altered that last text because if not my mom's taking my little brother to a Christian rape concert tonight."
"Cashier: ""Look at all this candy! You're going to have a lot of happy kids this Halloween"" Me: ""It's Halloween?"""
"*wants space* *eats Milky Way*"
"When my girlfriend got pregnant, everything changed My name, my address, my phone number"
"What does Batman's mum shout when it's time for dinner? Nothing. She's dead."
"What's the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom? A pickpocket snatches watches."
"No amount of minority filled commercials can ruin Red Lobster for me."
"A Chess Shop A man walks into a chess shop, and going over to the small asian manager, he asks if he can purchase a piece. The manager says, ""Oh sure. Take a rook."""
"I'm only 19 and my eyesight is constantly getting worse. When do I get Adult Supervision?"