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Joke of the Day
"It's only been a few days, but I'm starting to forget everything I knew about Mitch Romley."
Next Joke
"What did one tampon say to the other? Nothing. They were both stuck up bitches."
"*goes in bank with finger guns* This is a robbery! ""no one'll take you seriously-"" *switches to double barrel finger guns* ""do what he says"""
"*lights dim in restaurant* DATE: did it just become sexier in here? ME: I CAN'T SEE MY MENU"
"What if... ... in like 30 years they made a film about Leonardo DiCraprio and how he never won an Oscar...and the actor who played him got an Oscar."
"How many telemarketers does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, but they have to do it during dinner."
"You know I'm glad there are women in the world... Otherwise life would be a pain in the ass."
"What kind of pants does the Pink Panther wear? Denim Denim Denim Denim Denim Denim Deniiiiim"
"Goldfish 911: What's ur emergency? Goldfish: I forgot Goldfish 911: Forgot what? Goldfish: WHO IS THIS? Goldfish 911: I DON'T KNOW"
"What's worse then ants in your pants? Uncles in your pants."