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Joke of the Day

"*goes in bank with finger guns* This is a robbery! ""no one'll take you seriously-"" *switches to double barrel finger guns* ""do what he says"""

"My girlfriend is a keeper. She's perfect, but I never score."

"Always helpful... Before I criticize a man, I walk a mile in his shoes. That way, if he gets angry, he's a mile away and barefoot."

"Recycling Jesus died for our bins."

"The grammar teacher said ""In English, two negatives make an affirmative, but two affirmatives never make a negative."" A student replied... ""Yeah, right!"""

"I hate it when I get my days mixed up and I accidentally take my stupid wife out instead of my girlfriend."

"An elegant man call the mailman the other day. This double oval shape organ"

"I play the triangle in a reggae band It's quite easy. I just stand at the back and ting."

"The vast majority of spider couples met on the web."

"I will NEVER go bungee jumping... I came into this world because of broken rubber, no way am I leaving the same way"