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Joke of the Day

"Just walked FACE FIRST into a spider's web on my porch. Shoutout to my neighbors who now think I love showing off my frantic break dancing."

"I AM THE BOSS DO NOT FORGOT Boss hangs a poster in Office ""I AM THE BOSS, DO NOT FORGET"" He returns from lunch, finds a slip on his desk. ""Ur wife called, she wants her poster back home."""

"It takes five hours to get ready for work each morning, but it's worth it when I hear co-workers mutter ""What the fuck? Is that an angel?"""

"Why do men masturbate? it is sex with someone they love"

"How does a black women know if she's pregnant? All the cotton on her tampon has been picked off."

"Westminster Dog Show If a poor dog ever wins the Westminster Dog Show I hope at least one announcer calls it a Wags to Riches Story..."

"why aren't there any knock-knock jokes about america? because freedom rings."

"""My favorite sex fantasy starts with you bringing me wine..."" And then? ""Cheese."" Mmmm and then? ""You close the door from outside."""

"I'm a trustworthy friend. Count on me to tell you when our relationship is over."

"Jeffrey Dahmer was HOT. He had the body of a much younger man."