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Joke of the Day

"Westminster Dog Show If a poor dog ever wins the Westminster Dog Show I hope at least one announcer calls it a Wags to Riches Story..."

"What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money."

"The girl in the car next to me is totally checking me out. I think she likes me. After I'm done picking my nose, I'm gonna smile and wave."

"It's dumb for me to spend money on porn or sex... ... that's a lot of money wasted on 3 and a half minutes."

"What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer"

"How do you organize a space party? You planet"

"An orchestra concert is no place for a child. Sometimes there's intense violins"

"You can't make blanket statements & expect people to take you seriously, but since I hate clowns I'm pretty sure everyone else does too."

"I wonder if Taylor Swift ever gets one of her songs stuck in her head and also wants to kill herself"

"If you ever feel bad about your procrastination, Harry had three month to figure out the egg clue and still did it the night before"