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Joke of the Day
"why aren't there any knock-knock jokes about america? because freedom rings."
Next Joke
"Have you seen the Australian version of Breaking bad? He get's cancer and Medicare covers his costs and the series ends."
"FBI AGENT: [lifting crime scene tape and walking in] dale howard, fbi ME: [following him] bob vulfov, looking for a bathroom"
"I bet the first guy to pee on someone's jellyfish sting was NOT trying to help them."
"Just been to the shop and swapped 50 raisins for 100 sultanas. I can't believe the currant exchange rate"
"When does the narwhal bacon? Ellen Pao needs to resign immediately."
"It was so cold in D.C. today... ...that I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets."
"I hate two types of people... haters and hypocrites."
"I like when you see a guy with a beard and you can immediately tell he's fashioned his entire thing/vibe/life around having that beard."
"Me: ""If only the man upstairs could have blessed you with brains as well as beauty."" Wife: ""Why the hell is there a man upstairs?"""