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Joke of the Day

"You don't love Dunkin' Donuts coffee, you love heavy cream."

"Did you hear about the 2 men who stole a calendar? They each got 6 months."

"'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse... I really should have invested in one of those carbon monoxide detectors."

"If I ever had a one night stand and the guy texted me the next day and said ""nice to meat you""... I'd marry him."

"I tried to fix my shovel today, but I just couldn't handle it."

"Luke, I am your father. Man you should see your face right now. It's all like waaaaaat no way."

"Where do taxi drivers with bad skin go for treatment? The Taxi Dermist."

"My wife said, ""If you could change one thing about me, what would it be?"" I said, ""Your husband."""

"[NSFW] What's the difference between a sex doll and a store mannequin? Persistence."

"I've learned there are two types of people in this world: People I trust to help me bury bodies... ...and bodies"