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Joke of the Day

"If I ever had a one night stand and the guy texted me the next day and said ""nice to meat you""... I'd marry him."

"If you throw a great Ape into one of the Great Lakes what will it become? Wet!"

"If your mom could communicate with the dead she would be an extra large."

"How many film directors does it take to change a light bulb? Just one but he wants to do it thirty-two times and when he's done everyone says that his last light bulb was much better."

"Good in bed? So I was asked by a girl recently if I was good in bed. My reply: ""I know I'm good in bed because I'm always satisfied!"""

"An old married couple talk sex. Wife: What ever happened to our sex relations? Husband: I don't know, they don't even send Christmas cards anymore."

"What is a ghost-proof bicycle? One with no spooks in it."

"What do you call... ...a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean? Bob"

"I used to be addicted to soap but I'm clean now."

"How do you know a mod of /r/jokes is Asian? [dereted]"