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Joke of the Day
"Okay Canada. You've made your point. Will you take winter back now? Please?"
Next Joke
"*buys almond milk* ""I'm gonna get healthy!"" *drinks almond milk* ""This is gross."" *pours Hershey's chocolate syrup in milk* ""Perfect."""
"Whats the hardest part of vegetable to eat? The wheelchair."
"Goodnight moon, goodnight stars, goodnight perfectly normal Purple Rain album cover where Prince's eyes follow u across the room"
"Polar Bear Q: How do you catch a polar bear? A: You make a hole in the ice and line it with peas. When the bear goes in to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole."
"Life is like toilet paper You're either on a roll or taking shit from some asshole."
"*renames my kids South and East, and leaves them on Kanye's doorstep*"
"I hurt my foot the other day. My heel can't support any weight. But I haven't got to see a doctor yet. I'm just tiptoeing around the issue."
"Snowmen on a hill Two snowmen are standing on a hill and one says to the other ""Smells like carrots..."""
"Saw a werewolf at the bus stop this morning. Or possibly just a very hairy guy. Either way, the silver bullets worked."