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Joke of the Day

"What does a black policeman says when he looks in the mirror? Oh shit a cop!"

"Cop: Why did you burn that building down? Me: Because they keep sending emails after unsubscribing. Cop: You're free to go."

"When picking partners for a trust fall . . . . . . Always choose the ground. The ground will always catch you."

"Son: can I go? Dad: storm coming, tornado warnings Son: yeah I know Dad: wait for your brother to get home, he can continue the bloodline"

"Human history is so awful, I think I'm just gonna teach my son the timeline of Star Trek off of Wikipedia and call it a day."

"What do you call taking a dump after breakfast? A Brexit"

"If the United States government had a reality TV show... It would be called House of Tards."

"I misused a comma in my last tweet and now I'm having problems with my colon. I know it has nothing to do with my period."

"Knock knock? Who's there? Dr Who. WHICH Dr Who?"

"Barring any distractions, it only takes about three months to teach a meerkat how to throw knives."