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Joke of the Day
"What do you call taking a dump after breakfast? A Brexit"
Next Joke
"[art store] You do free framing? ""With any purchase"" Ok, just this pencil and [slides a gun with wife's fingerprints] you know what to do"
"Germans be like: Been there, Done that."
"My dog just attacked the pizza delivery man WHY ARE MY BEST FRIENDS FIGHTING"
"Sex Ed should require them to listen to a crying baby for 5 hours, and to watch the same episode of a cartoon over and over again."
"I have the perfect response to a text but its too mean Girl: What is your dumbest pet-peeve me: People asking stupid questions"
"How can you tell if your house was built by lesbian carpenters? All tongue-in-groove, with no studs."
"Republicans believe every day is the 4th of July... Democrats believe every day is April 15."
"I hope this blue uniform and walkie talkie doesn't make me look fat - Insecurity guard"
"Hahaha you're killing me. ~Me to this cigarette."