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Joke of the Day

"Human history is so awful, I think I'm just gonna teach my son the timeline of Star Trek off of Wikipedia and call it a day."

"What did the scarf say to the hat? You go on ahead. I'll hang around"

"The strangest thing happened to me on the train today. Found a book titled ""How to increase your Memory Power"" left behind on a seat. Now, that's irony!"

"An incredible phenomenon of life A pepperoni of radius 'z' and height 'a' has a volume of pizza"

"What happened to King Midas after he facepalm'd? He turned into Donald Trump."

"Good effort but we all know you're the ugly one in your two person profile picture."

"So I just got back from a trip in Germany, and I realized how awful American children are. While they may be nice and all where I live in NYC, kids in Germany are kinder."

"Ever since i started wearing camo all the time... My girlfriend said she can't see me anymore."

"A woman is at the doctors office and the doctor asks the woman, do you know what your ass hole is doing during an orgasm? I don't know probably out golfing with his buddies."

"A man sees a midget in an orange jumpsuit climbing down a jail from a rope... ...he looks at him for a second, and says,""Well, that's a little condescending."""